Human Barbie is the weirdest

Earlier this week, Human Barbie posted a selfie without makeup. Oh boy! Exciting stuff. But rather than join the debate regarding if she is or isn’t, in fact, wearing makeup, I’m going to discuss how incredibly strange Human Barbie really is.

In case you’ve missed the internet buzz lately, Human Barbie is a Ukrainian woman named Valeria Lukyanova who looks very doll-like and has achieved Barbie’s proportions through what sounds like an extremely healthy combination of starvation, exercise and plastic surgery—although she denies all plastic surgery except for breast implants.

human-barbie-valeria-lukyanova-mixed-races-contribute-to-plastic-surgery-popularity
Valeria Lukyanova, the “Human Barbie”

I first heard about her last summer, when a friend tweeted out a Vice documentary about Lukyanova. I tweeted back at my friend: “you had me at ‘what most of the world doesn’t know is that Valeria is not a real girl at all, but a time-traveling spiritual guru.'” And my opinion on her has not changed much since then: I find Human Barbie absolutely fascinating. In fact, she is probably one of my favorite celebrities.

Now, before you start dismissing her Breatharianism diet (that is, surviving off of light, air and other “cosmic micro-food”) and talking about how her body promotes unrealistic beauty standards, etc, read this profile, this Daily Beast Q&A and check out this Vice documentary:

 

As you can see, Human Barbie is weird.  And not the socially acceptable Zooey Deschanel-esque level of quirky; Lukyanova is full-on bizarre.

But not in the way that one would imagine for someone who tries to look like a doll. To contrast, lets look at Human Ken. Here is a person who apparently spent $150,000 on cosmetic surgery and underwent over 140 procedures to look like a human version of Ken. In a short interview with GQ, Human Ken (real name Justin Jedlica) said he was happy with the results because “I always wanted to be on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, and you know… I’m kind of famous and I’m kind of rich.” How stereotypical, Ken.

Human Barbie and Human Ken didn't hit it off.
Human Barbie and Human Ken didn’t hit it off.

Human Barbie and Human Ken did meet, but, unfortunately the two will not be riding a pink convertible off into the sunset anytime soon. “I don’t really get her,” Human Ken said in the same GQ interview. “I don’t get why people think she’s so interesting.”

What’s not to get, though? “The aim of my life is to come to this planet to help people realize that it is necessary to move from the role of ‘human consumer’ to ‘human demi-god,'” explains Lukyanova in the video above. Rather straightforward to me!

However, what I don’t like about Lukyanova are her non-P.C. views about eugenics and feminism. But, after all, every time-traveling spiritual guru Barbie doll lookalike has their flaws.

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